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Writer's pictureSandy Cowen

Unconditional love. Can we master that?


If you are someone who has read my books and yet question the concept of unconditional love; let me explain. You might recognize that you love your spouse and your children and maybe even your pets more than you love anyone else, but loving another person unconditionally and forever, seems almost impossible since we’re all human. We can’t possibly love like God does. Still, we can try so I’d like to re-introduce you to the concept of unconditional love in a way that might be easier to grasp, remind you how it’s on display in lots of places and how you can turn it on whenever you wish.

If you have a pet—specifically a dog (not sure about cats – ha)—unconditional love is natural for them. Dogs live with their hearts wide open to their masters and those who approach them with no threat. Their incredible eyes give you access to their souls, their tales wag, they jump with joy when they see you and they snuggle and can kiss you over and over.

Little kids love like that too, especially when they are joyful and happy. When your eyes connect with them, it’s like they send a jolt of loving energy your way, sharing the joy they feel and the happiness within their tiny souls. Small kids haven’t learned yet to filter love; animals don’t know how to do that either. Love flows universally through them straight to you! It’s we adults who screw up the process; we think too much.

So, let’s try to undo what we have all done to ourselves and how we have muffled our soul’s divinity. We’ll start with baby steps to get there.

Imagine, if more people loved each other like dogs or little children love us, the world would be amazing! Such grace would transform relationships and if enough people could master that state; the world would dramatically change, too.

The first step is to remember that each of us was created by a divine spark. God put it much more nicely when, in one of his messages to me when He stated:


“… how the divine seed I planted in each of you is Divine love.”


That tiny spark of creation, that bit of divine love is inside every one of us—no matter how ugly our lives or bodies may be—was part of what God shared with us. It’s part of Him. That is why God says we were created in His image. We all started with love and frankly, that is all God is—pure and divine love. Yes, that tiny bit of divine is absolute and it is hidden in there, within yourself and within every soul you’ll ever meet. It is the process of recognizing that spark lovingly that spreads unconditional love.

So, this is how we do it. We pass that recognition and love on to everyone we know or meet. Sometimes we pass it on to them over and over throughout an encounter when we are exchanging ideas, are chatting or through simply glancing at one another. It is not flirting, for flirting is motivated by something ego driven, this is pure and momentary and simply being open to the love that flows through us. When we are open, we allow that love to flow on to someone else. In doing so, we recognize their divine spark, their soul’s divinity, whether we particularly like the person or not. Our thought process has nothing to do with it.

That little flash of connection is a love exchange that’s unconditional. We don’t care if that person was old or young, heavy or slim, dark or light, smart or ignorant, handsome or homely or tall or short. We didn’t have time to think about specifics. We just know they are a creation of the divine and without thinking, we instantaneously love them. Just for a second, a split second and that’s enough. It is simply smiling and an instantaneous exchange (even if it’s unilateral) of love—that allows us to share love unconditionally. Our thought process can come into the picture after that – which, of course, puts conditions on everything!

So, next time someone walks into the room, or you encounter another (even in a store), allow your soul to connect with the divine spark in them. They don’t need to look back at you. There doesn’t need to be a mutual, friendly exchange. You can just send unconditional love whenever you encounter anyone on this earth. In a flash, just open your heart and connect with the divinity in another. Everyone wants to be recognized in a positive light, the soul yearns for it most of all. Sometimes others feel that flash of recognition or love occurring subconsciously and sometimes they don’t. It doesn’t matter because you do.

In one tiny second, the loving connection between ourselves and someone else is made and then we can go about our lives doing whatever it was we were doing before we opened our hearts. Loving unconditionally is particularly powerful when we actually exchange glances. That momentary bit of acceptance of another person is universal, it’s pure and it’s loving. After that, we can always decide if we like the person or not or wish to advance the relationship. The important part is over. It is letting God know that we recognize Him in another and lovingly connect.

Imagine if everyone in the world could pass that on from one to another. We’d judge a little less—or at least a little more slowly. We’d be a bit more kind—at least not come out swinging. Everything divine is beautiful. Love is beautiful and unconditional love is the most beautiful of all.

It is that connection that gives us time to listen, gives us pause in our pattern of instant judgment and allows us to “see” one another for the first time. That is a shot of love that can be turned on throughout the day and throughout your life. It’s the way God always wanted us to connect and perhaps, eventually, we’ll all learn to live with an open heart so we can live in peace and love.

That doesn’t seem too impossible, does it? A flash second of time when we greet someone in love and with an open heart? It becomes so automatic, frankly, that it begins to open us up to the love God sends to us 24/7. When we are open, we receive and when pure love flows through us to another, that’s the unconditional process. That is unconditional love.

This blog happens to be a very short one because the greatest lessons in life are very, very simple. The most basic: it’s all about love.



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